Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
