He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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