The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
