These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
