Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
