The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
