4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize