thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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