My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
