home. puking in laundry basket.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
