Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
