I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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