Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
