You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
