with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
