She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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