what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
