apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
