i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
