Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
