If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize