dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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