she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
