Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
