I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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