i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
