You don't have asthma, your pregnant
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
