Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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