I'm so fucking centered right now
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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