he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
