i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
