I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
