Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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