I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is wine microwaveable?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
