i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize