I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I could make wine with my vomit
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
