The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
