PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
