it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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