There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
