She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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