Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
