ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
