i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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