After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize