so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
