I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We need to get me chipped asap
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
