I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
