You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
