You're my little dorito
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
