The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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