I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
