24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
a search helicopter?!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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