I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
