Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
