I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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