i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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