I think im going to throw up on grandma
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A+ Viking dick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
