ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Everything about him screamed your future.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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