their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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