So drunk its hurt
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Shame is for Republicans.
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