Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
