I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
