JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
